Random Thoughts And Observations From The Final Four. It is quite late and I’m too tired to do anything but spew out “drive-by” thoughts. Here goes:

Things I’ve seen this weekend that will not enhance your trip to the Final Four: passing out on a couch in a hotel lobby, lugging the guy who passed out on a couch in the hotel lobby to his room, waiting 15 minutes to use a portable toilet, taking a taxi ride that you’re quite sure will result in either your accidental or intentional death, listening to self-absorbed members of the media blather endlessly on their cell phone during one of sports most dynamic annual events, trying to convince someone at a “help” desk to actually help.

How can five different people give you five different sets of directions to an elevator and all five of them be wrong? That’s, like, mathematically impossible, right? Apparently not.

I wish I could have been the guy who invented colored afro wigs in assorted colors. If he is no longer living, his heirs made a fortune in St. Louis this weekend. There’s one person who probably hates his guts: the guy who invented the now-passé giant foam we’re number one hand. These are both a lot more functional than my invention: The vacuum painted in team colors, which reads “Your Team Sucks”.

I don’t care if they’re comfortable and if they have your teams colors….there never was and never will be anything right about wearing “Joey Buttafuco pants”.

I’ll try harder next time.